Discipline For Toddlers

Moms Talk: Discipline

Suffield Patch invites you and your circle of friends to help build a community of support for mothers and their families right here in Suffield.

Each week in Moms Talk, our Moms Council of experts and smart moms take your questions, give advice and share solutions.

So grab a cup of coffee and settle in and welcome our Suffield moms, Cami Beiter, Lisa Coatti, Wendy Pierman Miztel and Sherry Paquette. The topic today is discipline.

How do you handle other people’s children when they break rules and overstep boundaries? If they are rude, do you say anything? Are you comfortable disciplining or making a point to a child in front of a parent while having a meal together, chatting on the sidewalk, or in other situations?  What about when you watch someone else’s children? 

Sherry Paquette

Growing up in the projects, the public housing in Hartford, grownups were feared. There were not many dads around, but you took orders from the mom that was closest to you. When a snotty comment or curse slipped out, the nearest mom reached out and cracked you in the mouth.

Moms supported each other wholeheartedly. These mothers linked arms against the bill collectors, welfare inspectors, landlords and men that done them wrong. Children were there to help out, shut their mouths and disappear when told. Kids were the reason the food stamps didn’t go far enough and why Mom couldn’t get out on Friday night.

Fast-forward 30 years to the suburbs of Suffield, where I am raising my toddlers. From birthday parties to playground dates, it was clear that children were private property. Mothers seemed more isolated from each other and, oddly, in competition. Moms who worked outside the home seemed pitted against stay-at-home moms. Those who fed their infants form the bottle appeared to have to justify themselves to those who fed from the breast. Children were precious creatures to be doted on, nurtured and cultivated. You did NOT criticize another parent’s darlings.

As time moved on and the boys got older, I found my own balancing act regarding the behavior of other children. I have never felt comfortable chastising or preaching to a child in front of their parents unless there was a safety issue involved. All parents raise their kids in their own individual way and who am I to say that kids must have manners.

7 Secrets of Toddler Discipline | Health Bulletin | Health News ...

1) Everyday, read to your toddler.

Take time to sit and read stories and poems to your toddler. It’s one of the greatest gifts you can give them. Read and reread stories to them.

Children love the repetition and very soon will object if you try to miss bits out. Try to dramatise the story by putting on accents and different voices but remember to keep the same voice for a character every time.

Take your toddler to the local library and enroll him/her. You will then have access to a huge number of books and your toddler can borrow.

Usually toddlers can borrow four or five at a time. Most libraries have “storytimes” when children sit on the floor and experienced storytellers either read books to the children or tell stories.

The toddlers can then be lead in a discussion about the story and the moral of the story.

All this helps the development of the toddlers listening and language skills, not to mention the child’s imaginative abilities.

By the time children reach the toddler stage, you’ve spent enough time with them to know their triggers. The most common ones are hunger, sleepiness, and quick changes of venue. With a little advance planning, you can avoid these potential meltdown scenarios and keep things relatively calm.

“You have to anticipate, which means you don’t go to the grocery store when your child needs a nap,” says Lisa Asta, MD, a pediatrician in Walnut Creek, Calif., and associate clinical professor of pediatrics at the University of California, San Francisco.

Try to make sure your child is home at naptimes, bedtimes, and mealtimes. If you are out, always keep food on hand in case of a sudden hunger attack. Keep excursions short (that means finding another restaurant if the one you’ve chosen has an hour-long wait, or doing your grocery shopping at times when the lines are shortest). Finally, plan ahead so you don’t have to rush (particularly when you need to get your child to preschool and yourself to work in the mornings).

You can ease transitions by involving your child in the process. That can be as simple as setting an egg timer for five minutes, and saying that when it rings it’s time to take a bath or get dressed, or giving your child a choice of whether to wear the red shirt or the blue shirt to school.

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